Despite what can sometimes seem like one endless struggle, if you’re a stutterer who aspires to be a performer, I’d like to extend this reminder: You are fully capable of finding success. And that includes having successful auditions, too. I’ve done it my fair share of times, and I know other strong, stuttering actors who have as well. None of us will coddle you with how easy it is, but nobody that’s worth being around will tell you that it’s impossible either.
This leaves me to introduce my first in a set of rules designed for stutterers pursuing an acting career.
Rule 1: Yes, You Stutter. No, You Can’t Leave it in the Lobby.
For years, encompassing a few that date not so far back, I would give myself these covert missions to carry out during auditions. Funnily enough, the instructions were always the same from one to the next.
They were as follows:
Don’t stutter, not even once, or else an assassin with a penchant for blood will find your address and swiftly strike you down. Right as you drift off to what will end up being the longest stretch of sleep ever.
And yet I still managed to stutter during every audition I had. When they would actually happen for real, the repercussions were made dire only by my own mindset. I wasn’t struck down by a certified killer. Ironically, I started to feel like maybe I was the one who had committed some major sin. Maybe even fractured what I now know as the imaginary, all-mighty scripture of acting. All thanks to one difficult vowel sound, or a few subtlely repeated words.
But here’s the thing – the more we worry about things, the worse off we tend to make them. Especially aspects of life that remain partly out of our control, such as having a speech impediment. It sounds like an easy enough lesson to learn, but most people have to face its ramifications many times before it sticks. If you’re anything like me then you have to relearn it quite often.
Accepting the idea of stuttering during a cold read, or even a monologue we’ve been fine-tuning for weeks is something that actually gives us a boost before taking center stage. The less time we spend stressing out about stumbling over a phrase, the more time we give ourselves to mull over things that truly matter to most directors. Intention. Backstory. Physicality. Not to mention the ability to adapt to directions that could be given on the spot during the audition or callback. To put it bluntly, a stutter ain’t shit in the grand scheme of the artistic process. It only holds the level of importance we permit it to.
Acting is hyper-reliant on maintaining self-acceptance. Sure, there are principles of the craft we all need to absorb, such as professionalism and regimented preparation, which you better believe is a topic for next time, but none of that really matters if we can’t train ourselves to be vulnerable in front of other people. Even if we don’t go out and land the part, the mere idea of putting ourselves out there and going for an audition can manifest itself as a victory. This holds true no matter what unique aspects of ourselves we bring to the casting table.
You, not your stutter, but you, are in control of how you present yourself on the day of an audition.
Everybody dreams of being the next Meryll, or I guess the past, present, or future Timothee Chalamet, but most production teams just want to meet you. They’re in search of actors who feel safe and content in their own skin. This is just another reason why we can’t let our stutter hold us up at figurative gunpoint. How is a director going to trust us to portray somebody else, if we aren’t even capable of accurately portraying ourselves?
Take my advice and bring your entire being in with you, even if you’re going to be reading for the curmudgeon janitor by day/ elated serial killer by night part. At least let it be the real you standing up there taking your best crack at such a theatrical monstrosity. If you walk through those doors feeling ashamed of yourself, chances are you’re going to be leaving with a similar attitude.
And if you do stutter, let it serve as a reminder of just how vulnerable you’re willing to be! You’re literally sharing your speech impediment with people who just got wind of your name. Relish in how badass of a thing that is to do. Do an internal Breakfast-Club era fist pump as you leave the room. Do a real one when you get into your car. Focus on your strength.
Ultimately, we can’t let a few stumbles in our speech sway us off track from what our real mission should be:
Giving the most kick-ass audition you possibly can. Every. Single. Time.